"That's All Folks !" - Epitaph of Mel Blanc, The Man of a Thousand Voices. "Rodney Fenster looked up the shaft of elevator number four at 1700 N 17th St this morning to see if the elevator was on its way down. Stop, traveller, and piss !" - Lord Byron's poem on Lord Castlereagh. It was a great lesson to me." - John Barrymore (1882-1942) US actor. Living frugally, saving his money, he died early, surrounded by greedy relatives.
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"He neither drank, smoked, nor rode a bicycle. "Here lies Kenneth Lay, which is what he did pretty much every second he was alive." - Danny Gallagher.
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"Here lies a man who knew how to enlist the service of better men than himself." - Tombstone of Andrew Carnegie. "Non!" - Epitaph wanted by Louis-Ferdinand Céline, french writer, refused by the cemetery (1946). "I'll thank you not to put your butt on my grave." - From a tombstone. "Died at the age of 102 at the hands of a justifiably outraged husband." - From a tombstone. "Where did everybody go ?" - From a tombstone. "How did it get so dark ?!?" - From a tombstone. "For a good time, dig." - Epitaph of Platy Paul. "I thought my doctor said I was heading for a rave." - From a tombstone. "Longest Live Burial World Record Attempt." - From a tombstone. "Let me out of here !!!" - From a tombstone. "I'm in on a plot." - Tombstone of Alfred Hitchcock (1899-1980), British director. "I told you I was sick." - Tombstone of Spike Milligan (1918-2002), British actor. "He died in bed." - Tombstone of renowned gunfighter Doc Holliday (1851-1887). "After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one." - Cato the Elder (234-149 BC) "Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done." - Mathematician Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855) when informed that his wife was dying.
I have no problem with going out the same way." "I came into this world kicking and screaming while covered in someone else's blood. "I wish my first spoken word was 'Quote' so I could make my last word 'Unquote'." - Stephen Wright. "When I die, I want my last words to be: ' I left a million dollars under the. "When I die, I want to be thrown out of an airplane wearing a Superman costume." But not, like, cremated or anything." - Mitch Berg. "When I die, I'd like to be scattered over my hometown. "' Till death do us part' is for quitters." "Instead of donating my body to science, I'll donate it to whoever has the best idea for a practical joke involving a dead body." "I told my wife I want to be cremated, She scheduled it for next tuesday." "Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body." "I want my tombstone to say: 'It didn't make me stonger'." - Mikee Steinberg. "There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result." - Winston Churchill (1874-1965) after a failed assassination attempt. Remark after narrowly escaping death in an assassination attempt. "They really are bad shots." - Charles De Gaulle (1890-1970), French general and statesman. "Death had to take him sleeping, for if Roosevelt had been awake there would have been a fight." - A contemporary politician about Theodore Roosevelt's (1858-1919) death. On learning that his obituary had been published. "Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated." - Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens 1835-1910), US writer. He sadly misses family and friends." - John Le Mesurier (1912-83), British actor. "John Le Mesurier wishes it to be known that he conked out on November 15th. "Nothing is written in stone until you're dead." Note: An epitaph (literally: " on the grave" in ancient Greek) is text honoring the dead, most commonly inscribed on a tombstone or plaque or read as a funeral oration.
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